1. Don't believe in Jesus! Follow after Muhammad or Buddha. Who cares about being in Heaven anyway? Hell may be like a motel6 compared to a Hilton...
2. Absolutely do not listen to your parents! Why should they know any more than you do? Do it your way. Just put cotton in your ears so you won't hear "I told you so".
3. Keep on sending those same people back to Washington! Sure they've been wrong on everything from sending jobs overseas, borrowing all of China's money, and letting anyone cross the border... but they've got to get something right sometime - they're wayyy overdue!
4. Don't get any exercise! It's overrated.
5. Forget that college education! Illegals are coming here for the same job you can do! They don't got no edumucaationn and don't even speak english! You can live in a rented mobile home with a bunch of others too.
6. Always blame everyone else for your problems! Sure they did it to you! They should at least send a card begging forgiveness. Assume "victimhood" and demand compassion from others.
7. Watch all the television you can. It's the best role model machine in the world. You should be just like them and then you'll be rich and famous!
8. Put all your energies into entertaining and thrilling yourself. It's all about you anyway. Try all the video games, alcohol, and drugs that are possible. Hit the nightclubs and show everyone what a fun person you really are! Thrive on addictions...
9. Never, ever, ever save any money! You're not going to need it in the future. We'll be just like Star Trek and get what we need from the replicator.
10. Always live in the past! Keep those regrets and guilt-ridden thoughts on the forefront. don't worry about setting any goals for your life! It's the past that is important. Be your own historian!
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